I am quickly remembering who I am. I didn’t think I needed that, but maybe I do. I am remembering through my senses, vibration and energy.
Public transit is harsh that way. Homelessness, mental illness, business suits and brief cases. You see it all from the window. Some of it comes within feet. That’s the hardest part. Those are the ones I feel the most. They rattle me. I’m not just processing mentally. I’m discerning what is happening in my body. I cursed myself for not doing grounding exercises before I left the house. I didn’t need to there. The energy is great. I needed it on the train, but it was too late.
The rattle started at the station. It grew louder as I saw a smattering of tents and makeshift homes nestled in the trees and under bridges. The fidgety young man with ripped pants dirty from work or life made the rattle worse.
I began to feel disoriented, misplaced and edgy. Was it me or him? I couldn’t discern his energy from mine.
I almost gave up and went back, but I got off the train instead. I found a woman who expanded on the directions I was missing. I came out of a tunnel, literally, and was moments away from a breathtaking view, a garden.
I kicked off my shoes and sat on the damp ground. I could feel the scrambled, chaotic energy shift and release. Grounding exercises followed. I will not be that unprepared again.